Musical Squids
by Lady Valmar
Summary: Rodney always knew something was a little odd about the women on Atlantis but he certainly wasn’t expecting this. Humorous one shot.


Title: Musical Squids

Author: Lady Valmar

Genre: Humor

Rating: K

Archive: FF, SGAHC

Date: 05-11-06

Spoilers: Season 2

Summary: Rodney always knew something was a little odd about the women on Atlantis but he certainly wasn't expecting this.

**Inspiration**: Me and my fiance's chats…um…in squid…

**Warnings: Just Random Weirdness**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis or anything else belonging to the show. Therefore please ask and do not infringe on anything that is mine.**

… **.LV.** …

**Musical Squids**

By _Lady Valmar

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Rodney had just finished his usual assessment of the various equipment's and electronics in his department and others that needed to be repaired. He had past out the assignments according to those in that particular field or to those he felt would get the job done correctly and in a timely fashion. 

In that knowledge he had left the most difficult job for last, repairing a very complex control console located in a small office set aside for the several art historians that had come from the Daedulus.

Taking his tablet PC and the few things he needed he left Zelenka to supervise the repairing of a control panel in the lab. It wasn't a far trek to the office taking only two transporters before he was there. On his entrance he heard voices coming from the office adjacent to the one he was in.

Curious, Rodney put down the tablet PC in his hand on the nearby desk, edging closer to the door separating the two rooms. Was that English they were speaking?

He knew Atlantis personnel were diverse, so it would be no surprise if they spoke in a different language. It was just that it wasn't any Earth language he had ever heard. It had to be alien or something.

Leaning close to the doorway he pressed his ear to it, mentally blocking the door from opening upon his entrance. He could clearly hear words but mostly what he heard was strange sounds that reminded him of a can of whipping cream being sprayed. Actually it was more like someone had taken the sound and turned it into a language comprised of short rapid sounds, reversed sounds and some random sounds using the letters key.

Rodney's eyebrows rose. What the…? Thought Rodney.

Laughter erupted as one of the girls made a complicated "key" sound and ended with a rapid whipping cream sound. Honestly what could he make of it? They were werid, no strange…no they were art historians.

Rodney knew from what little experience he had with those type of people that they were just strange to begin with so…this wasn't so much of a surprise but then again it was at the same time.

After all it wasn't everyday he encountered to people making random whipping cream noises. Rodney listened for awhile longer until he grew bored of their childishness and drew his attention back to the console that needed his attention.

It would be a long process of that he was sure but once it was completed perhaps they could get information on Wraith art…why he had no idea. He didn't see the importance of that but one could never tell what art to a Wraith might be.

Thus the reason for paying the console the attention and time. As he stretched his back he walked to the desk to retrieve his tablet not realizing he had a cord caught on his shoe. Reaching for the tablet he felt his weight give way as the cord grew taunt and pulled his legs out from under him. Yelping, Rodney managed to reach out and brace himself for the fall.

His tumble, unfortunately, alerted the two in the other room, who came running to see what all the fuss was about. Seeing him strewn on the floor his leg now wrapped up in the cord, one of them began to break out in laughter and had to leave the room.

Rodney frowned and spit out a nasty comment about rudeness and art historians. The one still there helped untangle his foot before helping him to his feet. Once he was up he glared at his helper only to feel the faintest of blushes touch his cheek.

He was staring at a mousy brown haired woman with deep blue eyes and soft features on her face. "Um…thanks…" muttered Rodney.

Okay so art historian or no, she was definitely beautiful. Finding his voice Rodney asked, "So um…I…sort of was curious but uh…what…were…"

"You heard us huh?" answered the historian, her hands on her hips.

"Yeah…"

"It's called squid language."

Rodney's eyes bulged. "What?"

"Yeah squid language…hahah...hahahah...ahahah…" answered another voice near the open door.

Rodney turned around, it was a slightler shorter woman with black hair and brown eyes wearing a purple fishing hat with a few rusty pins stuck on it's brim. He just stared.

"Yup…what she said…squid language."

His eyebrows rose, perplexed.

"Squid language?"

"Yeah know squid and language!"

"Okay…do squid's even have a language?" asked Rodney.

"Sure they do. Why Dr. Tenta can explain it better than I can right?"

"Oh sorry forgot to introduce myself this is Dr. Tenta and I'm Dr. Squid," said the woman with blue eyes, extending her hand.

Rodney shook it reluctantly. "Dr. Squid?"

"Yup."

"Sure it is," said Rodney. Beautiful or not he didn't like people teasing him period.

"No, really it is."

"O…kay…" said Rodney, turning back to reach for his tablet.

"Yeah…I get that all the time," said Dr. Squid.

"And you were speaking…? Squid?" said Rodney, trying to stifle his laugh.

"Yes, so Terra you wanna show Mr. Unconvinced who thinks we are kidding."

"It's Dr. McKay!" grumbled Rodney, "I'm not unconvinced…I'm just…skeptical…" Not mentioning he also thought they had one too many stunners hits to their head too.

"Oh right. Sqeeeeit squooot key key key coooo kiiiii coooo skaeeet squeeeeit," said Dr. Tenta

Rodney stared at Dr. Tenta. "Uh…"

"And…kikuki key key key whooooooshehehuuu. Squeeeit squooooot ooot oot ot," replied Dr. Squid.

"Que key key key whooooshehhuuu squueeit squoot skaeeet kiiiiiiiiiiii!"

"Key key whoot squeeit squoot kiku key!"

Rodney stood there listening to them go on in what they had labeled squid language and he decided that the control console wasn't in that much dire need of repair and quickly picked up his equipment. "Look…I…ah…got to go fix something…"

"Okay Dr. McKay…kuuwheeooo!" shouted both women at the same time.

Rodney raced out of the office hearing the two still babbling away in squid. To make matters worse when he had nearly reached his lab he heard two other women talking away in whispers that he could of sworn sounded like that dumb squid language those two in the office had been.

Okay so maybe it wasn't just art historians…maybe it was women on Atlantis altogether. Boy was he in luck.

Nearing his office, Rodney smiled slightly finally away from those insane whack jobs and quickly cringed as he heard his Japanese assistant reading a note out loud in squid.

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**A/N:** Yeah I know…me and my fiance are werid but it's what we do when were bored on the phone or in the same room and bored. LOL! You know I have even gotten people at my school (PCC) to start using it. LOL!

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_... .fine. ..._


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